why didn't you poke me back
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
