TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize