he wants to bone in the snuggie
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
