I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
