Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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