dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You can't motorboat a personality
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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