Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
