ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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