Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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