hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
