I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
sex in a hospital.. check
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
