Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
