New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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