I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
the liver wants what the liver wants
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
