Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i out mim tonsoeep
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