I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
