no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
