I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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