I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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