i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
