I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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