That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
