Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
