I heard we made out
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She needs sedatives and a leash
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
