since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
