wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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