I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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