remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
