I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
