I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
