i can't believe i had my finger in that
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
