Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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