my room smells like sperm. sweet.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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