i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
