Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
