No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize