going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
