don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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