I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
