did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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