Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
