I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
