She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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