Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
