I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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