When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
