You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
