I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
