Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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