There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
