The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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