But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
