i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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