can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize