is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
