I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
honey bunches of taint.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
