Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
