Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
