I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize