why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
