We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
